When life looks fine on the outside, but doesn’t feel right on the inside
Successful, capable, and reliable, yet privately tired, dissatisfied, or simply lacking a sense of peace? You might have hit a ceiling, or a transition has stirred up doubt you didn’t expect. Perhaps you’re carrying the long shadow of a boarding school past, or finding it hard to admit (as so many high-achievers have been conditioned to do) that something needs attention.
These are often the moments when people come to me: when they feel they are living divided, split between the person they are and the person they’ve learned to be; disconnected from purpose, from people, or from themselves. They may be struggling to make sense of what that means or what to do.
I offer space to slow down and look at that honestly: with care, and when it’s useful, some direct challenge too; with someone who has been in similar terrain.
Who I work with
I work with thoughtful, high-functioning people who are beginning to sense that something in their lives or careers needs attention, even if they can’t yet fully name it. Many of my clients are leaders or professionals who are used to carrying responsibility: capable, articulate, and good at holding things together, but caught in patterns that no longer serve them, whether that shows up as burnout, disconnection, self-doubt, or a growing sense that something underneath deserves attention. Some are tired of performing or masking. Others notice strain in close relationships with partners, family, or colleagues, where familiar patterns no longer feel sustainable.
Having spent over twenty years in high-pressure corporate and startup environments myself, I’m familiar with the demands, expectations, and quiet strain that often sit behind outwardly successful lives. I also understand the particular challenges that differences in attention, energy, and focus can bring in demanding settings.
Within that broader group, there are some areas where I bring particular depth:-
Working with Men
Many of the men I work with arrive sceptical, wondering whether talking can really help, or quietly convinced the problem should be solvable alone. For some, distress shows up less as sadness and more as anger, irritation, or a kind of low-level shutdown. I’ve navigated some of this myself, which means you won’t need to explain why it’s hard to be here.
I don’t expect you to arrive already comfortable with emotional expression. I pay close attention to how someone engages, and I adapt accordingly. With some clients I work in a more exploratory way. With others, particularly when familiar loops keep repeating or thinking has become a dead end, I may be more active, more direct, and willing to challenge what’s being said. That’s not about pushing, but about helping things move when they’ve genuinely got stuck.
Boarding School: the lasting impact of being sent away
One area I understand particularly well is the long-term impact of being sent to boarding school: not from a textbook, but from having been sent to boarding school myself. Being sent away young, learning to keep going without consistent emotional support, adapting to an environment where vulnerability could be used against you; these shape people in ways that often don’t become fully visible until much later in life.
The patterns it tends to create: self-reliance as survival, difficulty with vulnerability, a quiet uncertainty about who you are beneath the coping. The problem is those same patterns tend to follow people into adult life, into relationships, and into how they relate to themselves. What I offer is someone who understands this territory from the inside, who won’t need it explained, and won’t minimize it because it looks like privilege from the outside. I also work with partners trying to understand how boarding school has shaped their relationship
Making sense of late ADHD diagnosis
Many people discover they have ADHD later in life, after years of wondering why certain things feel so much harder than they seem to be for others. I have first-hand experience of ADHD, so I understand the exhaustion of years spent compensating and masking, and the particular self-doubt that can build up over time. The diagnosis may bring relief but can also open up grief: a re-reading of a past that suddenly looks different. The emotional journey isn’t straightforward; many move through anger, resentment, and grief before reaching acceptance. I don’t rush people through this. The work is about giving it the time it needs and supporting the rebuilding of trust in yourself that comes afterwards.
Issues that often arise
People don’t always arrive with a clear problem or label. Often, they come with a sense that something isn’t quite right. The work frequently centres around experiences such as:
- Feeling outwardly capable or successful, but internally unsettled or disconnected
- Carrying ongoing responsibility at work or at home, and feeling the strain of it
- Burnout, exhaustion, or the sense of always having to push through
- Anxiety, self-doubt, imposter feelings, or quietly questioning your own competence
- Frustration, irritability, or anger that feels hard to express or make sense of
- Feeling on edge, shut down, or less patient than you’d like to be
- Transitions in work or life, including stepping into leadership, stepping back, or rethinking direction
- Success that hasn’t brought the satisfaction, meaning, or peace you expected
- Strain or distance in close relationships, with partners, family members, or colleagues
- Repeating relational patterns that no longer feel workable or sustainable
- Late diagnosis of ADHD and the impact this can have on identity, work, or relationships
- The long-term impact of being sent to boarding school
- Wanting to feel more at ease in yourself, rather than constantly managing, performing, or holding things together
You don’t need to arrive knowing exactly what’s wrong or what needs to change. Often, these experiences are early signals that something in your life or work is asking to be understood – and curiosity is a key part of how we explore that together.
Who I am and how I work
Coming to therapy from a background that combines high-pressure professional work with a long-standing interest in understanding how people make sense of themselves and their lives, I know what it’s like to live in your head, to rely on effort and analysis, and to keep going long after something inside has started to ask for attention. That experience shapes how I work, and how I listen.
The way I work draws on a range of therapeutic approaches, shaped to what actually serves you in the moment rather than applied as a fixed method. I don’t come to sessions with a predetermined plan or a set of answers.
When we work together, I pay close attention to your experience as it unfolds: not rushing to explanations or solutions, but listening carefully to your words, the pauses, the shifts in energy, the moments when something feels stuck or alive. Often, what matters most isn’t the story itself, but what’s happening right now as you tell it.
Sometimes sessions involve careful conversation and reflection. At other times we might focus more on physical sensations or reactions that are easy to overlook when life is busy; or, if it suits, move the session outdoors as a walk and talk, where the change of setting can shift the dynamic entirely. With some clients, particularly when familiar patterns keep repeating, I may be more direct: willing to name what I’m observing and challenge what’s being said; not to push you toward a particular answer, but to help things move when they’ve genuinely got stuck. Any challenge I offer is an invitation, not a prescription.
Change tends to emerge not from being fixed, but from being understood.
My Training and Qualifications
A qualified Psychotherapist, holding a Diploma in Humanistic Psychotherapy and Counselling from HOMA London, a four-year training programme.
I am also an accredited Executive Coach through the Association of Coaching (AOEC)
Before retraining as a therapist, I spent over twenty years in senior roles across technology, product strategy, and organisational leadership, including a significant period at Microsoft working with founders, startups, and enterprise organisations. That background shapes how I understand the pressures my clients face, and means I don’t need business or organisational complexity explained to me.
Professional Regulation
I am a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), one of the largest supervisory bodies for counsellors and I work within their ethical guidelines. My registration number is 01036865.
I engage in regular clinical supervision.
Contact:
If you are anything like me, the idea of starting therapy can throw up all sorts of emotions and taking that first step can feel daunting. Finding the right fit matters, so I offer a free 45-minute introductory call. No commitment, no obligation: just a chance to ask questions, get a sense of how I work, and decide whether working together feels right.
Rates:
I charge £75 per 50 minute session of talking therapy, and I offer a limited number of lower cost sessions
Sessions:
Session length: 50 minutes
Format:
In-person (Monday evenings, Homa Therapy Practice, London)
Directions to Homa Therapy Practice
Zoom (Tuesdays)
